Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
