drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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