Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
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