he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
