Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
