Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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