I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
