she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
