Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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