She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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