1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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