i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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