did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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