dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize