I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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