Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
