If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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