...so i touched it.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
