I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
