I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Why can't burritos get me drunk
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
