I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
