so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
