I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
