with your own penis?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
foreskin is a definite game changer
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
