how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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