fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
