The maid of honor just puked.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
