And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
