I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
