So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
