Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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