So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Why is there bacon in the couch?