what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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