Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
