Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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