my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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