dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
