On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
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we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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