Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
