hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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