gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
