I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
