i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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