Banned from zoo.
Again?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
