Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize