Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
