they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
