Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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