im holly from the hills drunk
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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