i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
