I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Come share oat with me in your robe
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
