I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
