Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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