I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
