i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just found puke in my bra..
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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