I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize
