hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
