next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
