I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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