My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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