you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
