You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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