I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
