i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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